Thursday, December 30, 2010

Life Alterations

Here I sit on the cusp of 2011 visualizing the baby in diapers wearing the "2011" sash and ruminating on alterations. I'm altering the "spare bedroom" into a nursery when I think that this could be a life altering event. I've heard that having a kid changes everything. So far it's only changed the paint in our smallest bedroom. And Heather's waist measurements I suppose. Perhaps we'll have her pants altered.

Because I'm completely out of control of the entire situation I look for the things I can control - even if they're nearly a year in the future - like what to do about all the non-kid friendly furniture and electronics stored so conveniently at ground level?

My plan: Eventually the whole house will have to be altered. I don't like to have to redo work so I'm not just going to childproof the house but do so in a permanent fashion. Gone will be the end-tables with lamps just waiting to be pulled onto unfused skulls. So long media cabinet filled with oh-so-shiny and tasty DVDs. Book shelves? Not a chance. Any drawers/cabinets that can't be locked will be emptied. The kitchen will basically have to be gutted from everything below 3 feet. The solution will be shelves. Lots of them. Covering every wall. Not so high so Heather can't reach.

But that sounds like work and I'd rather charge out to play... alas, there's a wall of snow impeding my stampede so I'll stay in and make a list of things to do but I wont do them because I'm too occupied making the list and thinking about snow and typing blog entries with horrendous run-on sentences, with ill-placed commas. Logically I know I must finish everything on my honey-do list and my bucket (ehem - diaper pail) list before the kid is born in April. Realistically I'll put it off until such time as I'm actually nervous when The Great Alteration is nigh. I can't think of a better use for nervous energy than very amateur carpentry. I might accidentally sand off my knuckles and will probably lose a finger tip to a jigsaw but I consider that preferable to having to think up baby names. *shudder*

Original From: Life Alterations

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