Infant Talk has Adult Ring

When I was a tiny tiny baby my parents decided I was cute enough to do the whole family-photo-thing and we all went out to a Studio and had our pictures taken. The photographer found me very expressive for just a few weeks old and used a handful of props he had laying around to capture – and then caption – a few priceless photos. He sold four of the best to the local paper and at just 7 weeks old my picture was published in the Reading Eagle!

A few years ago, while looking through old photo albums at my Grandmother’s house, I found an original proof of the pictures cut/pasted into the original newspaper copy and I scanned it for posterity.  It goes a little something like this:

You can click on the picture to see it in full-size. The captions – from Left to Right, Top to Bottom read:

• Don’t know how Gloria Steinem stands these things. 
• You better start talking turkey or the deal’s off. 
• Someone is making a big profit from these rising gas prices. 
• Take back this football and give me a cosmetics contract. (I was never a fan of this line.)

I decided that I’d like to have some photos of my own baby girl captured and captioned. I have no inclination to try and get them published in our local paper – mostly because there is none – but because I can just publish them here and have them potentially seen by many many more people. =]

Last week I setup a little “Studio” in the dining room complete with a lamp and shag-like rug. I was unable to find kid-sized glasses or a 60s retro phone so I improvised. With only maybe 20 minutes of shoot time before we went from Happy Baby to Angry Pterodactyl I started snapping shots and seeing what I could get accomplished in just one “session”. I got all that I wanted and more. Seems being an expressive baby runs in the family!

Allison Grace - Ham Extraordinaire!

I only updated one caption because Ms. Steinem stopped wearing those glasses back in the 80s. I considered photo-shopping the pictures to correct little things like Heather’s hand in the football shot or the drool marks on the football but decided against it. Here is Allison as we see her and as the camera found here that morning. Here’s a few “outtake” shots that we couldn’t fit into the montage. Enjoy!

My share of the federal deficit is how much?

The AAMCO Commercial! Quick! Turn it off!

Wanna go see the Smurfs movie? Yeah, me neither.

Yeah, I made my money in Cosmetics but now I just play for the love of the game.

Glad the NFL Lockout was resolved!

Brain Pain 2011

Just to fully document the phenomena, I went through a cluster cycle in January into February. To those who somehow missed my previous update on these almost exactly two years ago, I suffer from Cluster Headaches. These suckers suck but only for a few months out of the year then they go away for several months. The current cycle came on slowly. I had a few minor headaches and a few ocular migraines in November and December. It went full blown the second week of January and peeked the last week of that month. I then entered one of the more stressful weeks of my professional career and - survival instincts ruling out stupid head pain - the cluster took a two week break. By the first week of March the headaches had ceased.  By documenting these cycles as they happen here I'm definitely seeing a pattern.

1) They're brought on by Christmas Stress - or at least the disruption in sleep patterns that seem to happen here.

2) Nitrates! I'm watching my intake of the pernicious 'trates. Alas, they're in Hot-dogs and Bacon so I can't help myself sometimes.

3) They tend to peter out with the worst of winter. Humidity? Low pressure? Less sun? I spent a lot of time outdoors this year despite the cold and snow.

Combining 1 & 2 and thinking back... in the beginning of November I had a business trip to Ireland and the UK. Fairly stressful is travel and the time change wompted my sleep patterns. Then there was the bacon and sausage every morning. Yum! Ouch! If sleep patterns and nitrates have anything to do with cluster headaches one might think I was trying to bring on a headache cycle! Anyway, I haven't had one in weeks now so I figured it was time to document the cycle. See ya'll back here in 2012!

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Orignal From: Brain Pain 2011

Near Miss

Pictures tell the story. Thursday January 28th. I awake to find yet another foot and a half of snow has fallen. The trees were just sagging under the weight. I noticed we lost a few good sized branches from the twin pines. One crushed the thermometer hanging on the tree. The sheer weight of the snow was too much for the flagpole too. It bent down until the flag touched the ground. Then I saw my car. The monster branch (about 6 inches across at it's thickest and weighing 60+ pounds laden with snush) fell about 20 before landing right where we normally park during "snow episodes". For some reason I pulled right in behind Heather that day. Probably saved myself a repair bill too. My whole yard is nothing but shattered pine. My whole driveway is surrounded by walls of snow. In two days it is Groundhogs Day and I'm thinking of macing the little guy just so he can't see his shadow and give me another six weeks of this crap. Come on Spring! Come early! Do it for the Trees - they obviously can't take much more snow!

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Orignal From: Near Miss